I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
