3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
