If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
