Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i wish my penis had a tongue
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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