dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
