That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
