i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
