just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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