Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
