not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
