Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
