I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
