some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Randomize
