My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
