Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Blood and glitter go together right?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
