Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize