Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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