That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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