i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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