I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
