The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
