I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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