Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize