I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
My ass is underappreciated
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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