i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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