He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
