the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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