This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
