You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Is Oprah even human
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