the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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