Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
should my penis look like a turkey
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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