Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
