yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
