You really coming over, don't trick.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
