I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
