The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
