Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
