im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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