I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
