I can tuck mytits in my pants
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
A bitchslap is in order.
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