ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
