the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
