sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
