i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
