The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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