I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Vodka?
Forever.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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