I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
