Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
