We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
