Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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