I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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