I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
