But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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