My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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