he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
