i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize