i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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